Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday 

(Fr. James McTavish FMVD)

“If you understand this, how happy you will be if you put it into practice”

On Holy Thursday we celebrate the Last Supper, the Institution of the Eucharist and the culmination of the love of Jesus. In the gospel of today we hear “He loved them to the very end”. How does he reveal this great love in the Last Supper? He washes the feet of the disciples and then asks “Do you understand what I have done for you?”. How are we to understand the washing of feet? What does it have to do with the language of love? We have many married couples here. Imagine going out for a dinner date and your partner starts to wash your feet in the middle of the restaurant! What is the intention of Jesus? Let us try to enter little by little.

One thing we know for sure is that Jesus came to give us life, life in all its fullness (See Jn 10,10). He goes to his passion with so much determination and conviction. He told his disciples “No one takes my life way from me, I give it up freely”. He knew that his death would draw all men to himself – “When I’m lifted up from the earth I will draw all men unto me”. Jesus knows that in his Passion he will reveal the greatest love. There is no greater love than to give your life for others. He also knows that our hearts are made for this love. Our hearts need to be filled with a great quality of love. Not just any type of love will do. Jesus comes to offer us the best. The best love, the love of God. There is no other love greater than this. Our hearts were made for this love and are very sensitive to this quality of love. We can detect when the love we have is not authentic or original. It is like the modern printers which have a sensor. The sensor can even detect of the ink is not authentic or original. Our hearts are sensitive too. Only a love which is authentic original can fill them up fully and satisfy us. Jesus comes to offer us this love. 

We can tranquilize our hearts, fill them with false loves but our hearts cries out for a genuine love. “Give me a genuine love. Stop filling me with rubbish!”. As St Augustine said “Our hearts are restless until they rest in God”. Jesus knows this. He is so confident that he endures is Passion, the mockery, the taunts – he is telling us “I have the love you are searching for. Your heart is made for this love. Nothing else will satisfy you. His love is the best and he is convinced of this. Like a friend of mine who was running for President of the medical school. After a long and boring afternoon listening to campaign speeches he was the last candidate to be interviewed. When he was asked why he should be voted as President he took the microphone and started to sing a line from a Tina Turner song - “Simply the best! Better than all the rest”. The whole medical school voted for him and he won. Jesus too wants to win our hearts. His love is simply the best, better than all the rest. Our hearts are made for this love.

Why do we settle sometimes for second best? Many times we fill our hearts with other loves, with offers of the world that leave us frustrated or longing for more. Often we are looking for love in the wrong places. Trying to fill our hearts with things that it was not made for. It reminds me of my younger brother who had a game whereby you had to put different shapes into their correct place. There were squares, circles, a heart and star shapes. One day I saw him very frustrated. He had a hammer and was trying to bang the square into the heart shape! Now this is understandable at 2 years old but imagine still playing the same game at 42. Trying to force into our hearts the shape of a dollar bill! Waaahh!!! But you are 42 not 2. Why are you trying to fill your heart with things that it was not made for? Sometimes we are very slow to learn! Many people try to fill their hearts with money. They work and work, filling up all their time with their studies and career. But for what? Sometimes just to please others, to keep parents happy, to impress others but many times not happy. But money can’t buy us happiness or love. “I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love”. They start with the smile and sparkling eyes of Kate Winslet or Leonardo di Caprio, work so hard night and day and end up having titanic eye bags!

Other times we can spend a lot of time and energy trying to please others. Trying to show we are important. I will mix with important people, I want to be a VIP, I will mix only with doctors, engineers, with foreigners, with the beautiful ones, with the rich people. But don’t you that for Jesus you are already a VIP. A very important Pilipino! Jesus asks us “Why are you so upset when you are not considered or noticed? Don’t you want to be like me? I was not considered by men, I was scorned and ignored and yet you want to be the centre of attention.”

Other times we doubt that this love of Jesus can really fill us. The other day I was in immigration waiting to stamp my visa. I had to wait so long that I was losing patience. A lady who was an agent kept jumping in front of me, smiling at the immigration official. I was losing my patience! Jesus is it true that your love really fulfills me in every moment? What about now? I looked at Jesus on the cross and he shouted to me “I am loving you to the MAXIMUM right now!” That awareness woke me and I regained patience and courage. I smiled at the lady, “After you Mam, please”.

Jesus offers us this love from the cross. A love that is tried, tested and proven. He offers it as a gift to us. We do not deserve it. “If you only knew the gift of God, if you only knew the quality of love I am offering you” (Jn 4). Come to me I will give you the love you are looking for. Come to me and I will give you rest. I is in Christ that we find the love we are looking for.

When I first encountered the love of Christ, I understood one thing very clearly – this is the love my hearts was looking for! I used to work in Sydney Australia as a plastic surgeon. I had many things, a house, a car, many friends, a few gorgeous ones, a great career. On my 30th birthday I held a party for my friends. I was there enjoying in an apartment in downtown Sydney, a glass of Australian chardonnay wine in my hand, singing along with U2 to a tune called “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”. A friend asked “Is it true?”. “What” I asked. “That you still haven’t found what you are looking for?” After I realized it was true. With a career, friends, money, everything the world tells you but still my heart was empty. Like in the Song of songs, “On my bed night after night I sought him whom my heart loves- I sought him but I did not find him.” (Songs 3,1)

I started to search for the love my heart was longing for. I got a surprise because I found this love not in all the things of the world, but in the silence of my heart, praying with the Word of God. It was there that I encountered Jesus, the love of my life. “I took hold of him and would not let him go”(Sgs 3,4) St Augustine describes it thus “Too late did I love You, O Fairness, so ancient, and yet so new! Too late did I love You! For behold, You were within, and I without, and there did I seek You; I, unlovely, rushed heedlessly among the things of beauty You made. You were with me, but I was not with You.” How great to discover a God, to discover a love that is not far from us, a love that has been poured into our hearts, that is not distant from us. A love that is in our lips and in our heart. “It is something very near to you, already in your hearts”(Dt 30,14).

How great to discover in Jesus the life and the love that we are searching for. To be FILLED UP! What a great witness in the world of today – the love of God fulfills my heart. This is the challenge this Easter – to be filled with the love of God. Challenge, challenge!

This love really fills me up. I get asked that sometimes here in Philippines. Are you a tourist? No. Are you an amerikano? No. Do you have a wife? No. Do you want one? No. I am a missionary priest. Do you like Philippines? Yes! I love it. Why? It is not easy here, it is very hot. Why do you love it? Because I live with the one who loved me and gave his life for me. His love fills me. It also challenges me, confronts me, draws me out of mediocrity. And I really experience it when I try to reciprocate it. This is where the great joy lies. When I try to love others, to wash their feet, to serve them like my master. Recently two Filipinos boys came to deliver a bunk bed to our house. They were young, 18 and 19, simple delivery boys. They were very tired and hot after a journey in their van. The first thing was I went out to help them lift the bed. No no they said. They were shocked that a puti or “amerikano” was coming to help them. Maybe they thought I was very rich. Maybe they are not used to that, as many rich people leave the menial tasks to their servants. When they brought the bed in they started to assemble it. It was hot so I got them a fan to cool them down. After I called them “Merienda! Snack time!” They were a bit shy at first so I started to practice my Tagalog. I prepared them some juice and we had some chocolates from Italy. Eat! How happy I was to serve them. I enjoyed because I saw them so surprised! Maybe they were not expecting this. Who is this amerikano? This amerikano is someone who has discovered the love of his life, holds onto him and does not want to let him go! How great to spend our life trying to serve others. As Jesus said “You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another's feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do. (John 13:13-15). Here I experience the love of Jesus fresh and alive, in serving his love to others. Here is the joy he promises us! As Jesus invites us “If you understand this, how happy you will be if you put it into practice!” (John 13,17)