The search for Beauty

Homily for the Feast of St Augustine

Fr James McTavish FMVD

“Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you!”

Today is the Feast of St Augustine. Who cannot fail to be inspired by his life, his search for the truth? We know he had quite a worldly life – he prayed when he was a young man, “Lord give me chastity, but not yet!” He was searching for the truth, in philosophy, in ideologies…then he discovered it listening to the preaching of a Bishop called St Ambrose. Listening to the Word of God brought him to himself. It is a word entering into him, but also a Word that was already in him, calling him, beckoning him, to enter into the depths of his being. He discovered the beauty within in which led him to declare those beautiful words “Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! “. He was searching for beauty and he found it –not outside of him but inside! Where are we searching for beauty? Outside? Or inside?

For many years of my life I was searching for beauty outside. In fact in my career before I had a lot of contact with beauty – I was a Plastic surgeon. I had a beautiful life. A beautiful house, a beautiful car, I could eat beautiful food, go on beautiful holidays. When I saw my salary each month with all those zeros…beautiful. And the most beautiful thing – my girlfriend! And of course being a plastic surgeon the best thing if there is a bit of her you don’t like, you can just change it. The lips, next week the nose…I came to my 29th birthday, I was working in Sydney Australia, a beautiful city I was with my friends, enjoying…a drink in my hand and singing along to the music. Then a song by a band called U2 came on “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. Is it true? What? You still haven’t found what you are looking for? I am just singing. It is my birthday, leave me in peace.

But I had to admit it, I hadn’t found what I was looking for. In all the created things, enjoying their beauty but it was not here. I got invited to an activity by the Verbum Dei missionaries, to listen to the Word of God. What a surprise! I started to discover the beauty I had been searching for, or rather the beauty found me! “O Beauty ever ancient, ever new. You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you.” Of course discovering this beauty everything becomes beautiful! I want to dedicate my entire life to announce Christ. To be like the voice in the Gospel, announcing that the bridegroom is here. Go and meet him!”

In the Gospel it is very fascinating - we have 10 virgins, 5 wise and 5 foolish. One key feature is the oil. What does the oil represent? Good works. Who were the foolish ones? We know three things about them – they fell asleep, they had no oil, and the bridegroom said to them “I do not know you”. They had no oil, they had no good works. Why not? They were trying to respond after all they woke up when they heard that the bridegroom was coming? Why did they not have good works? Because they did not know the bridegroom.

Let us not be foolish – many times we can be foolish when we don’t make time to listen to the Lord, to spend time with him, to pray and listen to him through his Word. Many Christians will say they do not have time to listen to the Word of God, but then we have time to watch TV, surf the Internet, go malling and do many things! Many times I am foolish – I listen to many voices but not the voice of the one who knows me and can give me life.

Then we have the wise virgins. Who were they? They also fell asleep! They were not so ‘holy holy’! But they had oil. Why did they have the oil of good works and the foolish ones didn’t? Because they knew the bridegroom. If you know Christ, from this person a life of good works will flow. Who is the wise Christian? The wise office worker? The wise priest? The ones who spends time getting to know the bridegroom, listening to him, listening to his Word. That one will bear much fruit. The Word of God is essential in this.

It is not enough to be Catholic. I am a good Catholic. It is not enough. To keep loving in the Office, to not gossip, to forgive, to be honest! I know an office worker, he finds it challenging as there is a lot of corruption in his office. He wants to conduct himself in a way that pleases God, That helps him grow in holiness. Your work is not only a place to earn money but it must help you to be holy! It is part of your pathway to sanctification. But to keep growing as Christians we need to discover that inner beauty every day, to be in contact with the one who loves us and tells us “You are beautiful”. To know Christ is to know his Word –ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. That is why as Verbum Dei we dedicate to the Word of God – explaining it, deepening in it, having formations, retreats, moments of prayer, recollections and announcing it too. Because often we understand it most when we have to share it –we have many lay people doing this. We invite you too – if you are interested.

Let us ask for the intercession of St Augustine. Our life is a search for the truth. There are many distractions. Let us be wise! To discover the source of beauty in us more and more each day, to not be foolish thinking that we can sustain a life of good works if we are cut off from the source of goodness. That is why Jesus says Remain in me and in my Word and you will bear much fruit but cut off from me you can do nothing. To realize that the Word of God is a privileged place for us to know Jesus, and to experience his transforming love. And also not to forget the challenge to be a voice to others, in our office, in our family, to each other! Not merely to say I am good but to help others discover Jesus, that their lives too can be beautiful. To be a voice that leads others to Christ.

The bridegroom is coming. Every time we listen to the Word and in every Eucharist. Let us open our hearts as we receive him.